Before I write anything else, let me write out three words - I Like Woman. I really do, they are such wonderful, caring, loving and gentle beings. Until they reach a shopping mall, that is! Where all hell break loose and perfectly sane and grown up of the said species transforms themselves into something else and ransacks the place, like a….like…,….well, like a woman at a shopping mall!
I had plonked myself onto one of the three chairs provided in over a thousand square feet of this shopping mall, baby in one hand, feeding bottle in the other, my tired and almost lifeless legs somewhere in front of me, my eyes spaced out and staring into eternity…To the outside world, I must’ve looked like a monk or something, because I was beyond reacting. Way beyond. Once in a while I catch men of the species walking about in similar state of trance, and sometimes we make eye contact, and exchange mutual respects with just that knowing look.
Why? Why can’t men and woman think alike when it comes to shopping? I have been trying to figure it out. Sample this: A man wants to buy black trousers. What does he do? He goes to the trouser shop, asks for black trousers, checks out the style and the price (not necessarily in that order) tries it out- and decides on one black trouser. Average time for the process is 10 minutes.
Now, sample this: A woman wants to buy a red skirt. What does she do? She goes to a shopping mall, checks out all the other shops before entering a dress store. Then she looks at all the dresses there and at the end of it she could be holding up 10 different colours and shades of cloths, which may or may not have the colour red or something resembling a skirt! The average time for this, if she is in a hurry, would be about an hour or so. On the other hand if she has time on her hand, then God help you!
You see a pattern here? Men go about their shopping by a process of elimination to reach to the one black trouser. Whereas, woman does it by a process of accumulation to arrive at …well, at least two pieces of attire in their hands.
At the end of it, they’d hold it up at you, and ask: ‘This one or That one?’
You jump out from your state of temporary coma, adjust your retina, point to one of the accused and declare confidently: ‘This one!’
The woman considers ‘This’ and then turns to ‘That’ and goes: ‘What’s wrong with That one?’
Man: ‘Nothing’ (Oh God!)
Wait a minute, I think I got it now! Yes, the process of accumulation! The woman did not come here to buy the one red skirt in the first place. That’s why they do not get cowed down by many choices or the confusion with it- they came precisely for that- many choices and more confusion! They just love it! A smile spread across my zen like face, I think. I have cracked it finally!
I jerked back to life on hearing my name being called out. There she is, my lovely wife walking towards me with two dresses in either hand. She halted in front of me, and asked:
‘This one or That one?’
I wish I vaporized into thin air.
I had plonked myself onto one of the three chairs provided in over a thousand square feet of this shopping mall, baby in one hand, feeding bottle in the other, my tired and almost lifeless legs somewhere in front of me, my eyes spaced out and staring into eternity…To the outside world, I must’ve looked like a monk or something, because I was beyond reacting. Way beyond. Once in a while I catch men of the species walking about in similar state of trance, and sometimes we make eye contact, and exchange mutual respects with just that knowing look.
Why? Why can’t men and woman think alike when it comes to shopping? I have been trying to figure it out. Sample this: A man wants to buy black trousers. What does he do? He goes to the trouser shop, asks for black trousers, checks out the style and the price (not necessarily in that order) tries it out- and decides on one black trouser. Average time for the process is 10 minutes.
Now, sample this: A woman wants to buy a red skirt. What does she do? She goes to a shopping mall, checks out all the other shops before entering a dress store. Then she looks at all the dresses there and at the end of it she could be holding up 10 different colours and shades of cloths, which may or may not have the colour red or something resembling a skirt! The average time for this, if she is in a hurry, would be about an hour or so. On the other hand if she has time on her hand, then God help you!
You see a pattern here? Men go about their shopping by a process of elimination to reach to the one black trouser. Whereas, woman does it by a process of accumulation to arrive at …well, at least two pieces of attire in their hands.
At the end of it, they’d hold it up at you, and ask: ‘This one or That one?’
You jump out from your state of temporary coma, adjust your retina, point to one of the accused and declare confidently: ‘This one!’
The woman considers ‘This’ and then turns to ‘That’ and goes: ‘What’s wrong with That one?’
Man: ‘Nothing’ (Oh God!)
Wait a minute, I think I got it now! Yes, the process of accumulation! The woman did not come here to buy the one red skirt in the first place. That’s why they do not get cowed down by many choices or the confusion with it- they came precisely for that- many choices and more confusion! They just love it! A smile spread across my zen like face, I think. I have cracked it finally!
I jerked back to life on hearing my name being called out. There she is, my lovely wife walking towards me with two dresses in either hand. She halted in front of me, and asked:
‘This one or That one?’
I wish I vaporized into thin air.
